Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. Youโll ruin sex for him because new girls wonโt compare
Randomize
