Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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