escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
