Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I party with great urgency now.
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