your parents love me but you hate me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
