So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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