Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
