i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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