if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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