that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
