he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
