oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I got her a Nickelback box set.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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