Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
