Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
