New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
