we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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