I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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