areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
