Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Randomize
