is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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