Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
