Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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