I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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