That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
