New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you never un-have a 4some
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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