obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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