Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You were trust falling into bushes
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
