what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
