I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so let's talk penis.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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