So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
