Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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