jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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