Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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