Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
