Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
