What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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