i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
