Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
