we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
