it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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