Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
