Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
