Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize