Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
