...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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