i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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