if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
