stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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