My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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