Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
