epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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