Who did Billy Mays play for?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think I just sharted jello shots
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