that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
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Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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