if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
