someone threw a dead crab at me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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