Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
