I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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