I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
