That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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