Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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