I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Use "feeling words"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!