Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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